minime28
Sunday, April 03, 2005
wally on stress
When we see frens in distress or under stress, we will feel obliged to help out and offer our advice. This can be quite tricky and i sometime feel awkward doing so because it's easy to n.a.t.o (no action talk only) when you are a spectator on the outside of a situation looking in. I try to avoid acting like a smartass, just be there for them if they need help. And people sometimes ask you for an opinion when they have already made up their mind, just looking for reassurance. I am one of them kekeke
case 1 : This guy treats his gf like dirt and is always looking for a fling. After the gf gave him the boot and hooked up with someone, he mops around, acts like an asshole and generally got on everyone's nerves. He keeps trying to win her back, talking about his love for her while on the side he has already found another fling. I find him to be the possessive dominant type who wants to makeup because he got ditched. You want to break? Fine, i will break on MY terms, not you. I want to tell him that we don't owe him a living and he best stop acting like a wimp, but in his case it's better for me to sit back and watch the show.
case 2: This guy is infatuated with a girl who's attached. He chauffeurs her to and from work everyday, sometimes disrupting his work. All the while the girl is giving him mixed signals, sometimes even discussing her relationship problems with my fren. The interesting thing is when he met with an accident, he called her but she reacted passively and did not visit him in hospital. Only when he bought a car, THEN she got friendlier with him. To us it's plain that she is playing him. He asks if he should continue doing this, and of course we encourage him to give it up. He will nod while looking distracted, and then run off to pick her up after receiving her msg. I realize when we are talkin to him, he may be listening but he is not listening. I told him to go for it and wishes him luck. It's obvious he has already made his mind and he is just looking to us for encouragement. Since he is happy to continue this way, just let him be.
真心爱一个人，不是去占有她。而是希望她永远幸福，快乐, 仅此而已。
I don't know if he is thinking this way, but may it be that he gets lucky and the girl actually falls for him. No one can get thru to him so this is something he has to work out on his own.
case 3: work related stress, work fatigue, performance anxiety. In this area i am an expert on feeling depressed, so i have a more sympathetic approach. Management guru Wally has a very good theory on performance anxiety in the cartoon strip on top and i find it reflects the working environment more accurately than any self-help books. Very interesting but i won't be sending it out as generally stressed up people don't appreciate jokes and smartass remarks. I just try to commiserate with fellow sufferers as i know the feeling, help out in little ways if i can, and send them little things to help them relax.
I won't be going into the counselling biz anytime soon as i will probably be telling patients to just snap out of it lol. Good news is my counselor J, on her birthday, has managed to make a troubled teen see the light. Great job!
posted by 桔梗, 2:59 PM
